Letting Kids Shine: Nurturing Self-Worth from the Start

It’s my birth month, and that always gets me thinking about how much I love my birthday. There’s something magical about having one day a year that’s all about me. It’s glorious permission to bask in my existence, to celebrate the fact that I’m here, and to feel totally worthy of love and attention. And let me tell you, I lean into it. No shame, right? One day a year to embrace myself fully—sign me up!

But here’s the thing: kids are born feeling that way. They don’t need permission to feel like the center of their own universe. From the moment they take their first breath, they arrive with an innate sense of their own worthiness. They know they’re important. They know their needs matter. They know they’re here to be loved. That self-centeredness, in the best sense of the word, is powerful. It’s a sense of wholeness and worthiness that’s as natural to them as breathing.

Somewhere along the way, though, that changes for a lot of us. We’re taught to tone it down, to not be so full of ourselves, to share the spotlight or dim our light altogether. And while humility and kindness are beautiful traits, I can’t help but wonder: what’s the cost when we snuff out a child’s innate sense of self? What do we lose when we’re taught to shrink instead of shine?

As parents, we do have a choice. We can either foster that sense of wholeness and worthiness in kids, or we can destroy it. And make no mistake—the world is full of opportunities to destroy it. Every time a child is told they’re too loud, too needy, too much, they internalize the idea that who they are isn’t okay. Every time we dismiss their feelings or demand they conform to our expectations without explanation, we chip away at that innate belief that they matter just as they are.

But what if we did the opposite? What if we chose to nurture that sense of self instead of tearing it down? What if we celebrated kids for being unapologetically themselves? What if we let them be “filled with themselves” and saw it for what it really is: a deep, unwavering belief in their own worth?

Imagine a world where kids grow up holding onto that belief. They wouldn’t be afraid to take up space, to speak up for what they need, or to chase their dreams with wild abandon. They wouldn’t spend years trying to unlearn the message that they’re not enough. Instead, they’d carry that childhood magic into adulthood, showing up in the world as their fullest, brightest selves. 

And here’s the thing: fostering that in kids doesn’t mean creating little narcissists who think the world revolves around them. It’s not about raising egos. It’s about raising humans who are deeply connected to their own value and, in turn, recognize the value in others. When a child knows they’re worthy, they’re more likely to treat others with the same respect and kindness they’ve been shown. Self-love and empathy are not opposites; they’re partners. Oh - and by the way - when you believe deeply in your own worth, you can help solve the complex problems that are facing humanity.

So how do we foster that sense of worthiness? It starts with small, everyday choices. It’s in the way we listen to kids when they’re excitedly telling us about their latest drawing or their wild dream from the night before. It’s in the way we validate their feelings, even when those feelings are inconvenient or hard for us to understand. It’s in the way we celebrate their uniqueness instead of comparing them to others or pushing them to fit a mold.

It’s also about modeling our own sense of worthiness. When we treat ourselves with kindness and celebrate our own accomplishments, we show kids that it’s okay to do the same. When we embrace our quirks and stand confidently in who we are, we give them permission to do the same. After all, kids learn as much from what we do as they do from what we say.

I think about my birthday again—about that joy of being allowed to revel in myself for a day. What if we let kids feel that way all the time? What if we let them wake up every morning believing they’re worthy of love and belonging, just because they exist? What if we stopped worrying about them being “full of themselves” and started worrying about what might happen if they’re not?

Here’s the truth: kids are born knowing they’re enough. It’s up to us to help them keep knowing it. And honestly? I think we’ll all be better for it. So let’s choose to foster that wholeness and worthiness. Let’s celebrate kids for being beautifully, unapologetically themselves. 

Because the world needs more of that magic—and it starts with us.